Post
by mluka » Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:14 am
Jeff,
You sound down, and understandably so. Yet, I find your tone simultaneously appalling and encouraging.
I was under the impression that you were at peace with your situation - if such a thing can really be - but I think that clearly isn't the case.
Life is all about choices. The way I see it, you have two:
1)Take what your doctors say at face value, that you have but 1-2 months to live. After all, they are the experts. They went to school for a damn long time to become oncologists. Accept what they say, internalize it, make their beliefs your own, and try to live out your remaining days as pain-free as possible.
Or
2)Realize that no matter how much these knuckleheads have studied, the fact of the matter is that they don't know as much about their specialty as they would like. For them to know as much as they would like, would mean that they have had a 100% success rate in treating cancer.
Then, realize that they are basing their estimates on other people. How long have these knuckleheads known you? One year? Two? Well, I've known you for seven years. Who knows you better?
I would like to remind you about a story I've told you before, which, based on other conversations we've had, you should damn well know isn't an exaggeration. When I was a kid, my mother had a friend who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and given six months to live. Years later, she was not only still alive, but she was playing in a tennis league. These doctors are not prognosticators; they cannot foretell the future. Only you can foretell your future.
What I expect of you, Larloch the Mighty, is to shed the negative attitude. Yes, that's the pot calling the kettle black. So I'm a hypocrite. I'm a hypocrite who knows that your mood has more of an effect on your health than most of Western medicine would like to acknowledge. I expect you to tell those knucklehead doctors to take their 1-2 months, and shove it straight up their arses!! Because you're going to approach this, your life's greatest trial, with the same tenacity, ferocity, and vivacity as you have approached chess over the last several months. Cancer is a formidable opponent indeed, but it has never faced you before and doesn't know what a beast it's up against.
At least, that's what the Jeff I know would do. He might get knocked down, sure, but then he'd get back up off the mat and come out fighting. Climb up to that top rope, my friend. I paid to see a wrestling match, and your name's on the marquee.