2011 Zapper Tournament Reports

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ecperreault
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2011 Zapper Tournament Reports

Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:44 pm

Image The 2011 Zapper Tournament Reports will be posted here by your COMPLETELY UNBIASED Live action reporter.
The Reports are received by a slightly used (junky) 1963 Teletype Model 33 ASR donated by the unselfish and ultra-wealthy islanderfan.
As the Reports come in they will be posted here, THANK YOU GREG!
I shall report ONLY worthy news from The 2011 Zapper Team Tournament which a World Class Chess Tournament which has invited the best players from around the globe to the Tourist Resort of Grabmyack, which is located on the slightly polluted Lake Sunken Junkyard, located in the Northeast.
Good Luck to all the fine teams:

Team Tyr
1 – energy (2819) (Nils – Norway)
2 – cliff (2697) (Cliff – Canada) Captain
3 – johnrbrown (2295) (John Brown – Canada)
4 – johnb (2291) (John White – Canada)
5 – redketchuplover (2240) (USA)

Caissa's Chosen
1 – pcmvr (2883) (Pete – USA)
2 – iamachessstudent (2693) (Josh – USA) Captain
3 – ecperreault (2287) (Eugene – USA)
4 – cmulligan (2072) ( Chris – USA)
5 – pwillows (2053) (Pete – Australia)

Keep Em Checkmated
1 – angelofthenight (2632) (Angel – Canada)
2 – wilbeerthoven (2400) (Bruno)
3 – pawnraider (2316) (Paul – Germany)
4 – islanderfan (2069) (Brian - USA) Captain
5 – heyuneverno (2053) (Jim - USA)

The Beerdrinkers
1 – jvanmechelen (2571) (Jan – Belgium) Captain
2 – sisterofmercy (2468) (Hans – Belgium)
3 – pumpkin (2347) (Wade – Canada)
4 – mi (2245) (Michel – France)
5 – jsiebert (1765) (Judy – USA)

Now Let's have some fun... :lol:
Last edited by ecperreault on Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:47 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:50 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:53 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:54 pm

All done in fun and to keep up the interest in this tournament.
I can't 'Report' after EVERY game, but will try to mention them all in some way.
No one shall be singled out or picked on (except the little shrimp who is picking spitballs out of his hair and extracting a deep wedgie) in my 'Reports'.
May this Zapper Tournament not be the last.
Good luck to all teams (especially the ones trying to catch Caissa's Chosen :twisted:

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:59 pm

Some UNNAMED players have complained that I always mention Cassia's Chosen Team and not the other teams
... ... ... The other teams !? Oh, the other teams in the Zapper Tournament ... yah, I guess there are some
... ... ... Is it just me, or is the 3rd Beerdrinkers Cheergirl guzzling her beer. I knew a girl like her once. Did I ever tell you the time she and I were d... Well, maybe some other time
... ... ... I shall try to see if there is NEWS of interest of the ?other? teams. I passed it on to my SUPERB reporter. ... she does look familiar though ... ... ... I wonder if she was th
This transmission was ended abruptly due to its content.

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:03 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:04 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:06 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:08 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 01, 2011 9:09 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:13 pm

This is your Favorite Reporter waaay up here in Grabmyack covering The Zapper Tournament ... ... ... This reporter has just witnessed a spectacular game between 2 of the Super Board 1 players end with attacks and counterattacks still being fired off even as the Draw was agreed to. ... ... ...
Image
pcmvr of that JUGGERNAUT team Caissa's Chosen used crystal clear moves (I don't have a clue about) to parry the 'In Your Face' moves which came from ... ... ... angelofthenight, the enforcer of team Keep Em Checkmated. My question to pcmvr was, 'Why would you play a French Defense against angelofthenight who is from Canada?'
... ... ... pcmvr pondered for what seemed like an hour over the complex question, then cmulligan jumped in and said, 'We had this planned out in our pre-tournament global strategy.' Oh, ya ... whatever that means. After the game angelofthenight added, in passing me, 'It ain't over yet!' ... ... ... Do I detect a little confidence here? Do the really think they can catch that JUGGERNAUT team Caissa's Chosen !? ... ... ...
Stay tuned for further results from The Zapper Tournament :arrow:

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:39 pm

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islanderfan
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Post by islanderfan » Tue Aug 02, 2011 2:47 pm

hey reporter leave the updates in the new updates one. am losing track of who is playing. sheesh, Oh Cliff, you seem to be losing!!!!

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:13 pm

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Last edited by ecperreault on Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Tue Aug 02, 2011 5:39 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Tue Aug 02, 2011 7:30 pm

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Last edited by ecperreault on Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:15 pm

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Last edited by ecperreault on Thu Dec 06, 2012 3:15 am, edited 1 time in total.

islanderfan
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Post by islanderfan » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:00 pm

if you only knew how good she looked.... wait was that out loud?

ditto
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UNBIASED 2011 Zapper Tournament

Post by ditto » Wed Aug 03, 2011 4:49 pm

Hello, where I can join to this tournament?

islanderfan
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Post by islanderfan » Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:02 pm

oh to late boss, we all ready started. Maybe in a few months I will start it again if you wish to join.

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:23 pm

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islanderfan
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Post by islanderfan » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:21 pm

nope you are wrong this time mister reporter guy!!!

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:33 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:20 pm

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islanderfan
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Post by islanderfan » Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:22 pm

looks like Josh vs Cliff!

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Thu Aug 04, 2011 2:04 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Thu Aug 04, 2011 3:32 pm

This is your UNBIASED Reporter again reporting from the Zapper Tournament which is being held in Grabmyack which, of course as you already know, is located in the Northeast ... ... ... I was just snooping around the Tournament Hall and spied this game being played in The Board 3 Tournament:
Image
Indeed, a highly-tactical game between pawnraider of Team Keep Em Checkmated and ecperreault (aka snot-nosed kid) of that JUGGERNAUT team Caissa's Chosen ... ... ...
Now I don't want to put undue pressure on the little guy, but should ecperreault lose this game it would turn The 2011 Zapper Tournament into a real close competition again, all but wiping ... ... ... out the HUGE lead Caissa's Chosen enjoyed. Let's see what pawnraider does after that brilliant move by ecperr ... ... ... WHOA! UNBELIEVABLE! ecperreault went to wipe something on his pants leg and has tipped the board over! The Tournament hall is in a turmoil! OH! A couple of the Cheergirls have bent over to help pick up the scattered pieces ... ... ... I should have brought my photographer, Myaria with me. Would be a good shot there, and there, oooh, ya! ... ... ...
Uh, Oh, here comes the Zapper Tournament Director, Miss Realgirlnextdoor. She looks a triffle upset at this situation. Of course the board must be reset from the recorded games sheets, ... ... ... but the little snot-nosed kid can't write, so they have to use pawnraider's scoresheet. The Zapper Tournament Director, Miss Realgirlnextdoor seems to be losing her patience with the players ... ... ... and has called them into her dungeon, err, her office. I shall gather my crack team of professionals and get further UNBIASED Reports on this situation.
Stay tuned for further results from The Zapper Tournament :arrow:

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Thu Aug 04, 2011 6:34 pm

While we wait for that mess to be sorted out in the Zapper Tournament Office ... 'smack' ... Oooh, I bet that's going to smart tomorrow, this Board 5 Tournament game has resumed ... ... ... between jsiebert of The Beerdrinkers Team and heyuneverno of Keep Em Checkmated. And we know who has the White pieces ... ... ... don't we?
Image
Now, I know a lot about Chess because I am a walking Encyclopedia of Knowledge, as you all know. However, I am NOT ... ... ... allowed to publish my EXPERT analysis of any of the games I am looking at, But, I can tell you that this game is what I would classify as a 'Down-in-the-trenches-bloody-fist-fight' of a Chess game ... ... ... (excuse my harsh language, Judy [She said I could call her Judy]). Now, I am not sure how Jim [he said I could call him Jim] will reply to jsiebert's 'book re-writing' 9... g6 !!! but I have a few ideas... ... ...
As these Round 1 games wind down the final results will come pouring in and this UNBIASED Reporter will be swamped with real reporting to do. I shall try to cover each and every one of them ... ... ... (and Caissa's Chosen games twice) with nothing but absolute fair journalism.
Now back to that brutal game, I think Jim has to watch out for Judy's crushin
Stay tuned for further reports of The Zapper Tournament from Grabmyack, which is located somewhere in the Northeast. :arrow:

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:53 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:09 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:27 pm

This Just In! The Board Two Tournament game between Captain cliff of Team Tyr and Captain iamachessstudent of that Juggernaut Caissa's Chosen Team has just ... ... ... been agreed to a Draw! This COMPLETELY UNBIASED Reporter has never seen such fireworks fired off in a game which settles as a Draw. Even as I peered at the final position ... ... ...
Image
I could see no fewer than 11teen possible variations still remaining to be analyzed ... ... ... Even though Cliff has a huge Elo advantage of 4 points over Josh , AND considering the FACT that Cliff and Josh have played 7,153 games to date between them ... ... ... and the score is EVEN at 17 Wins a piece and 7,119 Draws, maybe that draw was the correct outcome.
... ... ... After the match, as he passed by me, your UNBIASED Reporter of the Zapper Tournament; iamachessstudent was overheard mumbling something like, '... we will catch those clowns, yet ...' I don't know what that cryptic verbal spat meant, but there ain't no Circus in town.
Tournament Note: This might be the first of many Zapper Tournament Round 1 games going final in the next few days. Stay tuned for the results.

cmulligan
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Post by cmulligan » Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:02 am

Hello,ladies and gentlemen of the Press,fans,teammates.I've called this press conference to make a short announcement.I, along with many of my fans have been rather disappointed by my subpar performance so far. I have finally been able to pinpoint the cause of these problems however and can assure you steps are being taken to rectify the situation.
Background checks finally came back on the team of GM analysts I employ and to my consternation I discovered they are actually General Motors employees,not Grand Masters...They have all been fired and replacements are being sought as we speak.In the meanwhile,as a stopgap measure I have hired little Susy Jackson,reigning champion of the Grabmyack Elementary School Chess Team.I welcome Susy to the team & assure you all of a return to the higher quality chess you have come to expect from me... :D

cmulligan
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Post by cmulligan » Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:44 am

It occured to me that the uninformed,unwashed masses( like Team Keep Em Checkmated and specifically the team leader,Brian...) might view the earlier press conference as some kind of admission of "cheating". Nothing could be further from the truth,however I have decided it best to enlighten you all on the subject.

In modern,high level ,chess play it is common for top players(such as myself) to have teams of assistants that help with preperation and study for games.They will go over opponents games,help find general strengths & weaknesses,and help refine an overall strategy for dealing with the opponent.They will also go over openings,discussing new findings,etc..,.What they do NOT do is help analyse games in progress.

For example,lets say I'm playing the well known Ruy Lopez against someone;1.e4 e5 2.Nf3 Nc6...now if at this point I became stuck and went to my analysts to find my next move...well,that would be cheating! That would be wrong! Let's say now though,that after these first few moves I wish to discuss opening strategy for upcoming games with my analysts.So we go over the opening;1Nf3 Nc6 2,e4 e5...well,this is clearly a completely different opening & game so there is no harm done...Glad I could clear that up for you all.Hope this helps deepen your understanding of high level,top end chess competition!

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:32 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:23 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Sat Aug 06, 2011 9:49 pm

The game between wilbeerthoven of team Keep Em Checkmated and iamachessstudent, Captain of Caissa's Chosen has ended... ... ... The last move of this game was a real wing dingy! I, your Encyclopedia of Knowledge UNBIASED Reporter saw iamachessstudent - the UBER member of the Juggernaut team Caissa's Chosen - very slowly and gentle place the bishop on d4.
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The unfazed look on wilbeerthoven's face slowly went from ... ... ... no real concern, to confusion, then lastly the shoulders slumped and the look of hopelessness showed on his face. He silently extended his hand and it was over - the gathered crowd parted to let these two proud combatants exit the hall, quietly discussing the game. Thus is how Chess is supposed to be played ... ... ...
I was humbled.

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:16 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:40 pm

The game between ecperreault of team Caissa's Chosen and pawnraider of team Keep Em Checkmated has ended... ... ... These two competitors were very closely matched as can be seen from their IDENTICAL Elo Ratings! ... ... ... ecperreault [I WILL call him the snot-nosed kid] has shown to, I, your UNBIASED Reporter why no one wants him on their team. Let's see if I can get this in order correctly:
A) Thinks he is thumping his opponent and starts picking his nose and wiping the extractions on his pants (see Zapper Report above)
B) Gets all excited and knocks the board over disrupting the Zapper Tournament
C) Can't even write so they must use his opponent's scoresheet to repair the position
D) Gets called into the Principal's Office, err, the Tournament Director's Office to get his ears boxed a little
E) Sits back down to continue the game with pawnraider who has waited patiently through out all this immature nonsense
F) Loses a Rook on THE VERY NEXT MOVE
G) Then resigns the move after that in this position
Image
Team Caissa's Chosen has a weakness and pawnraider found it! Caissa's Chosen team don't seem quite so dominating after this game!
Stay tuned for further results and news from The Zapper Tournament :arrow:

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Sun Aug 07, 2011 1:49 pm

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islanderfan
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Post by islanderfan » Sun Aug 07, 2011 7:16 pm

check the new thread Eugene

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:32 pm

Flash - Stay tuned for a Special Announcement from the Zapper Tournament Organizer, Mr Buzzy Fezzlewig :arrow:

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Mon Aug 08, 2011 1:04 pm

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:30 pm

This is your UNBIASED Reporter with another informative update from the Zapper Tournament! ... ... ... angelofthenight of team Keep Em Checkmated has thunderously finished off Captain jvanmechelen of The Beerdrinkers team in a Board 1 Tournament match.
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In, what can only be described as, an explosive last 6 moves, this French Defense transformed itself into an explosive game. The last few moves were a much a joy to watch as the ... ... ... Cheergirls of The Beerdrinkers; however, there will be no celebrations by The Beerdrinkers team this time ... ... ... With this win team Keep Em Checkmated has moved within striking distance of Caissa's Chosen.

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:33 am

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ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:01 pm

A very important final has just been reached involving wilbeerthoven of team Keep Em Checkmated and sisterofmercy of The Beerdrinkers ... ... ... They played a stout King's Indian, Panno variation Opening for 14 moves and agreed it was a Drawn affair.
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This game was of GREAT importance as it allows ... ... ... The Beerdrinkers team to get off that ½ Point they were stuck on forever, and this result means team Keep Em Checkmated has closed the gap between them and Caissa's Chosen to a single point!

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:51 pm

Zapper Tournament Note: Timed-out games WILL NOT be mentioned in the Zapper Reports. They will be included in a Zapper Scoreboard Update only.

iamachessstudent
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Post by iamachessstudent » Thu Aug 11, 2011 5:56 pm

I love these reports!
You are dong a hella job, and its entertaining as hell:)
KEEP IT UP :)

ecperreault
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Post by ecperreault » Thu Aug 11, 2011 6:48 pm

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islanderfan
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Post by islanderfan » Thu Aug 11, 2011 7:47 pm

mine mine mine me me me all me haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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